In the Blame Game, no one wins. Logically we know this, yet we still play. Why? I have a theory—it’s due to delusions of grandeur. We create the game because we can’t stand the thought of failure and because our self-image has been built on baseless expectation. Could racism be the manifestation of expectations we haven’t or can’t meet? Possibly.
I’ve noticed that no matter what happens, someone else is to blame. It’s like the creed of an abuser to his/her victim: “If you didn’t make me so angry, I wouldn’t have to beat you.”
We’ve become a society of don’t blame me blame them. If we are unhappy, it’s because someone makes us unhappy. If we are angry, it’s because of someone else. It’s true that someone can make a decision that negatively affects us—it’s also true that it’s our own fault if we stay angry.
It seems the only time we take full responsibility for our actions is when they’re linked to success. With accomplishment, we take total ownership, no matter how small, no matter if it wasn’t earned entirely on our own. We do it for the fallacy of expectation.
Expectations are lies we tell ourselves. These ideas can come from anywhere—maybe they’re bestowed on us from infancy. Perhaps it derives from the culture we live in, or possibly we simply made them up. We have talked ourselves into believing that we are somehow deserving of this thing or that and work hard at trying to prove that lie.
We surround ourselves with the same kind of liars and point the finger at people with a different lie. We’re scared, not of other races, other cultures, or belief systems we are terrified of our lie being exposed. It isn’t hate that motivates. It’s fear. Hate is only fear intensified.
Why do we do this? Because we don’t take responsibility for any action that counters our inflated sense of self. We refuse to look at what we’re doing to make ourselves fail. We don’t accept our inadequacies in the first place. So, we add a component of something or someone else into the mix and decide it’s that element that makes us flop.
Once a scapegoat is found, we can cast a distraction away from ourselves. For the rest of our lives, we spin more lies to cover any cracks in our emotionally unstable facades. It’s a sad life. It’s a hard life, too making it impossible to trust anything, or believe in anything not directly connected to our delusion.
I don’t know if this theory is correct, and I know there are many, many facets to bias’ and racism, but I think it’s something to consider. It would be incredible if the biggest threat to society were simply high expectation combined with low self-esteem because that is workable and because that is fixable!