Story 11: A Christmas Perspective Tweak

 

 

Story 11/24: Nothing’s better during the Christmas season than festive music and the sense of community, inclusion, and harmony it brings.

I’m fascinated at how many renditions a song can have. One of my favorites is Santa Baby, Eartha Kitt’s version, where she’s downright sexy towards the ultimate sugar daddy.

Kitt practically purrs her list of appeals; a convertible, a duplex, etc. I don’t blame her for her steep demands either—we’ve all seen Kris Kringle, he’s looked the same since he was twenty-years-old!

Versions of Santa Baby have hit the radio waves over the years, and for the most part, haven’t given me pause until recently. I was getting ready for the day, listening to Apple music when the familiar beginning of my favorite Christmas song began.

As soon as the words started, I stopped mid-makeup because of the tenor voice of a new crooner. What the? Michael Buble had covered another classic as well as possibly outing himself.

Comparing Kitt’s version to Buble’s, both list a yacht, deeds to a platinum mine, and expensive tree decorations—only he doesn’t care about Tiffany’s, he wants things from Mercedes—as if a C Class sedan could hang on a Colorado Blue Spruce!

Also, Buble doesn’t want a sable under the tree, but a Rolex and can apparently buy his own duplex but can’t secure seats on the glass at a Canucks’ Hockey game.

Like Eartha, Michael isn’t interested in a telephone ring but does want cha’ching as in money, and he doesn’t mean it as a loan. Huh?

After Buble sings his first, Santa baby, he calls the man, Santa buddy, Santa pally and Santa poppy. Weird.

Not since finding out that George Michael was gay, has the angle of a favorite Christmas song, such as Wham’s Last Christmas, been so tilted. What other songs could a word tweak or two change the whole idea of it?

What if ’Cause Santa Claus Is Coming to Town was switched to ‘Cause Santa Claus Is Wearing a Frown? Doesn’t that suggest a sad Santa? Does the king of the North Pole suffer from S.A.D (Seasonal Affective Disorder)? Maybe, according to this title.

Or, instead of I saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus, what if the kid saw his daddy doing it? Or what if Mommy was the one spying on her husband and Santa making out under the mistletoe? See, a perspective change!

In the original Santa Baby, the song is about paying dues. She’s stopped seeing or kissing anybody else all year, keeping herself only for ol’ Saint Nick, and now he has to make it worth it.

In Buble’s version, he explains that he’s been good all year because he didn’t kiss a ton of “hotties,” and Santa owes him. Why? After this account, I’d say Buble keeping it in his pants is a public service to all.

This isn’t a lewdness contest over who wore him best—I don’t care whether or not the character singing Santa Baby is a sugar baby or a gay man. And to be clear, I do not think Michael Buble is a homosexual—this song just makes it sound like he is. I simply like the song in general.

My offense about Buble’s version is the way it’s sung—in a 1950’s Italian mobster kind of way that old blue eyes would’ve been proud. It changed how I saw three very famous men—Michael Buble, Santa Claus, and Frank Sinatra via Michael Buble. I mean, if Sinatra had sung Santa Baby would I have second-guessed his sexuality, too? Yep, probably.

So this year, if you’re looking to shake things up from the same old humdrum Christmas carol, look up Michael Buble’s 2013/2014 rendition of a holiday classic and give it a listen. It could open an entirely new outlook for you, but warning, once you hear it, it’s hard to un-hear!

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