I miss bread. I miss homemade cookies. Cakes and cupcakes! It’s not that I’ve given up sugar, my issue is that the older I get, the more allergies I have. A year and a half ago I gave up gluten, and with that any baked good with a normal texture and taste. It’s fine, I do feel better without it. However, I want to eat something without the flavor falling flat. I want to bake—bake like I used to! I want to create something beautiful and delicious! I miss that.

Over the weekend, my husband wanted to make bread using whole-wheat flour minus any GMOs (genetically modified organisms) GMO’s are in everything! His thought was that perhaps my issue wasn’t gluten but overly modified ingredients. It worked! I ate bread—fresh out of the oven, nicely dense bread! A miracle!

Today, I tried making cupcakes with whole-wheat flour. The results? Total and utter failure!

The batter was like caulk and tasted like cardboard and paste. I added more vanilla extract and got a vanilla infused paste. I thought, maybe cooking the concoction would change it—or at least, help it. It did not. What’s worse the actual cake is beige—not golden tan, not toasted, but beige as in Band-aide colored. So, I continued, making a maple frosting—because wouldn’t a cupcake that’s monochromatic taste better? FYI it doesn’t. It also doesn’t make them look any better.

Over the last year and a half, I’ve tried using gluten-free flour—there’s some made with almonds or cashews and others made with garbanzo beans and tastes like copper pennies. I’ve gone through page after page on Pinterest and tried gluten-free recipes and have ordered gluten-free cupcakes at bakeries. No good. If it doesn’t have gluten, it’s gross—there’s nothing else to say.

In the grocery aisle, there are long sections stacked with gluten-free cookies and crackers. Have you tried them? When you eat a baked good, the response isn’t supposed to be, eh. And to add insult to injury, I found gluten-free crackers made out of beets. Beets! Would you eat crackers that tasted like pennies and were maroon? Not without having an “I dare you” attached, I’d imagine.

I know cupcakes aren’t the answer. I understand that eating junk and food that’s over processed is bad for you—but I realize that that’s the stuff that makes things taste good!