Nuts?!

I realize that in the grand scheme, there are many things to ponder over—the world and all its stormy climates (the weather, the community, the constant public shootings, poverty, hate, the government and it’s policies, etc. etc. etc.). However, recently, I stumbled across something that shook me to my core.

Last Friday night, my son’s football team put on their annual (pre-season, pre-school year) “Midnight Madness.” Here, the audience watches the Football team do drills for several hours and then scrimmage—yeah, I don’t get it either. Anyway, Bry and I needed to kill some time, so we left the stands and headed to a convenience store just down the street from the high school.

Scanning each aisle, I discovered a package of candy that I loved as a kid and still love as an adult, Circus Peanuts. You know that mallow orange-colored sweet shaped like a peanut shell after a nuclear waste leak?  I love ’em!

Everything about the treat seems schizophrenic: They are the color of Cheetos. Their texture is of house insulation and memory foam. And they are delicious in every state of decay—soft, chewy, and stale.

As I ripped open the package, something caught my eye. Underneath the words “Circus Peanuts” was a second line, “a banana-flavored candy.”

Wait. What?! Circus Peanuts are banana-flavored?

I took a bite and then another. Yep, the candy smacked of chemically processed banana flavoring. Were they all like that?

To make sure I hadn’t inadvertently picked up a trending kind of Circus Peanut, (like Lucky Charms now with Unicorn-shaped marshmallows), I went to another gas station further away. I needed to ensure that my very scientific experiment wasn’t in danger of supply and demand and location bias.

I found another bag, in which I could plainly see the legume-shaped candy through the plastic wrapper and one that stated Circus Peanut but without banana-flavored underneath.

I tore open the bag and fished one out, then smelled it. It smelled like its regular mallow-self. I took a bite, and it tasted like…banana! What the what?!

So in the name of full transparency, and as part of this public safety announcement, I looked them up, and I’m passing on my wisdom.

Circus Peanuts are banana-flavored. They haven’t always been. Originally they were just mallow tasting, which tastes like nothing. Then they were orange-flavored, but that made them a seasonal item for some reason. Then, in 2010, Bam! Banana!

Of course like all phases of psychosis, the candy experiences moments of color change in yellows, pinks, and whites, but in general, they’re orange, just like one of the colors of a Miami Dolphins jersey!

So I guess the take away here is not to think about it. Sometimes, when it comes down to deciding whether or not to like something, ignorance is bliss. After all, there are so many other things going on in the world, the components of a favorite candy probably shouldn’t register high on that list.

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